For The Love of The Restaurant

Nobody said relationships were easy.

In many ways the relationship between the front of the house and the back of the house is a tricky one. It's a committed relationship, yes, but there are times when both parties involved feel exhausted, uneasy, irritable, confused, and unfortunately, cheated.

Today I wanted to break up with my manager. Of course I don't mean this literally, but I was upset that I was getting my butt kicked during brunch and he was no where in sight to alleviate the situation. When I sent a search party out, busily taking orders as guests poured in, one of the bussers reported back that my manager said I needed to go find him myself. This message heightened my frustration. I had no time to run up and down stairs to find him, who did he think he was? He cut all the servers and left me to flounder on my own? What nerve!

Today's feelings were not unique. There are plenty of instances when servers make the cooks upset, when the chef de cuisine wants to rip the manger a new one, when dishwashers want to scream at the bussers shucking filthy plates in a disorganized manner, and when hosts feel like they will combust if one more table walks five minutes before close and the manager says they're welcome to sit. Restaurant relationships run a turbulent course.

I'm no relationship expert, but we all know some relationships work better than others. Factors such as compatibility, communication, and life experience usually play a role and they all contribute to eachother in some form. When people share common values, goals, and a respect for one another, communication is generally a little easier, and when communication is open and healthy, problems are more easily solved and avoided.

This is all more easily said than done.

Like romantic relationships, restaurants experience the same bumps and bridges. Though my experience with relationships and restaurants are limited at age 23, I've spent some years observing the dynamics of both bad romances, and more often than not, woes sprout from troubles in the realm of communication. Sometimes the parties involved in a relationship have different communication styles and other times there just isn't enough communication happening. Communication can be passive, assertive, and aggressive, and it's not easy finding a balance.

So why can't people in the front of the house and the back of the house just talk it all out? Because they don't completely understand eachother, just like men and women don't completely understanding eachother. And unlike a romantic relationship, make-up sex doesn't exist. Men and women are different and front and back of the house are different. In heterosexual relationships, there's different hormones, anatomy, live experiences — the list goes on forever. With restaurants, people have different skill sets, educational backgrounds, cultural upbringings, and job descriptions. Let's not forget language barriers either...

Sure, some people are incredibly fortunate to understand and relate to the other side, whether it's the opposite sex or the other side of the house, but even people who really "get" the other side don't completely get it. Of course everyone in a restaurant wants a smooth service, but each person benefits in a different way and every level of restaurant hierarchy has different priorities.

Example: The chef de cuisine and the floor manager both want to sell food that people like. Simple enough, right? Not entirely. They share the common goal of delivering good food to the guest, but they both report to different bosses with different goals. The chef de cuisine ultimately reports back to the executive chef, and the executive chef doesn't just care about the guest liking the food, he cares about whether or not the chef de cuisine is organizing a kitchen that delivers consistent plates, operates within budget, and that labor costs are kept under control.

Does the floor manager share these goals? Yes, but there's more to it. The floor manager wants as many covers as possible because he/she reports to the general manager, who reports to the real stake holders: The owners. More covers equals more business, which equals more cash-money. Without the dough, there is no restaurant. To achieve more covers, the floor manager has to push servers to turn tables, which means food better be arriving to the tables quickly.

This is all fine and dandy, but sometimes the kitchen can't pump food out as quickly as the front of the house would like, and when they do rush the food, you run the risk of mistakes. The temperature might be off, the salad might look disheveled, or maybe the guest asked for a substitution that was not honored. Now the manager has to offer the guests new food, discounts, complimentary dessert... you get the picture. All of these things costs money, and before you know it, the kitchen is losing money and the restaurant might lose repeat business if the situation isn't promptly corrected.

So what's my point? It's not easy and it was never meant to be, but it can be a healthy relationship if people communicate and understand the needs and goals of the other side. I lost my cool today with my manager. I was overwhelmed and I vented my frustration. I should have considered that he was managing two floors on his own and completing the weekly liquor inventory, but I didn't. I was thinking about myself, which is easy to do when feeling vulnerable. We all do it.

At the end of a rough day, when feeling depleated of energy and ready to walk out, it's important to remember why you got into it — the relationship or the restaurant — in the first place. In romantic relationships, it's love, and in restaurants, it's hospitality. The rest will come with patience.

20 Things I Learned In Level 2

1. Improvise. Sometimes the cake doesn't come out of the pan as planned...

2. Expect the unexpected. You can make a butternut squash purée in an hour unless the squash is cut into small cubes. The oven doesn't care that the dish is due and the squash isn't ready, and neither does chef.

3. In good pairings, wine makes food taste better and food makes wine taste better! What a nice relationship.

4. I don't really fancy organ meat ("offal"), but I have faith that there are a lot of chefs out there preparing organ meats in some delicious ways. Chef April Bloomfield at The Spotted Pig already changed my mind about chicken livers, and chefs at The American and at Del Posto have confirmed my belief that foie gras is an irreplaceable luxury. I know the practice behind foie gras is cruel — there's no denying that — but if a server offers to let's say, ladle foie gras over a crispy duck breast, I'm afraid that I'm just not prepared to turn it away.

5. The term "venison" applies to meat of deer, elk, caribou, moose, antelope, and pronghorn. The USDA classifies meat from deer, elk, bear, moose, rabbit, alligator, and armadillo as red meat.

Flounder "My Way" - Panko pecan-crusted flounder with citrus beurre blanc, wilted spinach, & butternut squash purée

6. Veal is meat from a male calf that is 2-3 months old and it's delicate, tender, and pale in color because the calf's movement is completely restricted and its diet is monitored. This is a just a reality.

7. I now know more about custards, frozen desserts, crusts, and soufflés than I ever thought I would as a classic culinary arts student.

8. The difference between all purpose flour and cake flour is a BIG one. As a novice baker I used AP flour in place of cake flour all the time because I didn't want to spend the extra money, but it's a small difference in price that's worth it. Gluten, a network of proteins in flour and grain, is largely responsible for the shape and texture of a baked item. AP flour has a protein content of 11-12 percent and cake flour has a protein content of 8-9 percent. What does this mean? The type of flour used and how it is manipulated will yield pretty specific results. If you're serious about baking, knowing your flour and purchasing flour specific to your baking needs will make a huge difference.

9. Chilling dough and batter does matter. In the past I would rush chilling times specified in recipes, but I now understand that chilling is important because it allows the gluten networks to relax.

10. Appreciate handmade puff pastry! It took someone a little bit of time to make.

Apple tarts and a pear-almond cream tart

11. White chocolate is a chocolate impostor. It isn't chocolate at all. It's made out of sugar, milk soils, and cocoa butter.

12. In the words of Eldridge sous chef Nick Haxton, "I'm your chef, not your dietitian," but a food professional should know a thing of two about nutrition.

13. Sheep's milk has the highest fat content (7.5 percent) compared to goat's milk (4 percent) and cow's milk (3.7 percent), but reindeer (17 percent) and fin whales (42 percent) have the highest milk fat contents. Reindeer milk, anyone? How about cheese made from human breast milk? New York chef Daniel Angerer did just that earlier this year with his wife's breast milk. Check out the New York Post March 2010 article.

14. Making ricotta is easy. All you need is milk, citric acid, and salt. Food Lab blogger J. Kenji Lopez-Alt posted a nice tutorial on SeriousEats.com.

15. Gnocchi is versatile, easy (to my surprise), delicious, and can be easily edited for seasonal purposes. Spinach or squash can be added to the dumplings, the sauce served with the gnocchi can be light or heavy, and gnocchi can be served as a side dish or main course.

Roasted beet salad with endive, watercress, pears, Roquefort, & walnuts

16. There really is beauty in simplicity.

17. Real, French-style scrambled eggs ("oeufs brouilles") shouldn't take less than 15 minutes to make. They're cooked over medium-low heat with constant stirring and the final product should be soft, creamy, and thick.

18. The truth about sugar substitutes is that they're awful. Thank you, Chef Tim. Read this article. Raw sugar all the way!

19. Desserts are cheap for most restaurants to make, so why do you think restaurants send out birthday treats and "apology desserts?" It's cheaper than sending another entrée or booze.

20. At the end of the night, despite what went wrong or didn't get chef's approval, I'm still doing what I love.